no reason why you can't use flapjacks as sex toys (hyalin) wrote in deathpandas,
no reason why you can't use flapjacks as sex toys
hyalin
deathpandas

THE RAVER

SO I WAS IN THIS CLUB AND IT WAS ALL 'UNS UNS UNS UNS UNS' AND THERE WERE HELLA PEOPLE DANCING AND SHIT, RIGHT?

THEN THIS BUDDY OF MINE SHOWS UP AND HE'S ALL "MAN, YOU NEED TO TAKE THESE DRUGS BECAUSE THEY ARE THE HELLA SHITIZZLE MY HOMIE YO" AND THEN HE IS MAJORLY FUCKED UP BY SOME BLACK DUDE FROM BERKLEY OR SOMETHING TALKING ABOUT CULTURAL CAPITAL OR SOME SHIT LIKE THAT

BUT HE GAVE ME THE DRUGS RIGHT SO I TAKE THEM BECAUSE HE'S MY BUDDY AND I TRUST HIM EVEN WHEN I'M NOT HITTING THE E OLD SCHOOL YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

AND THOSE DRUGS THEY FUCKED ME UP GOOD MAN

LIKE I WENT OUT DANCING AND EVERYONE HAD TURNED INTO DANCING TREES WITH SQUID ARMS FOR BRANCHES
YOU KNOW, LIKE THOSE THINGS WITH THE SUCKERS?

ONLY THEY WERE NEON.

AND THIS GIRL STARTED DOING THAT BUMP AND GRIND STUFF WITH ME AND HER HAIR WAS LIKE ICY COLD FIRE AND IT SOUNDED LIKE THE FINEST MUSIC FROM THE JUKEBOXES OF ATLANTIS AND THEY SANG TO ME OF THE SECRET UTOPIAN SOCIETY OF THE SPACE-MOON WHERE THE AIR WAS FILLED WITH HAPPINESS

SO I WAS DANCING WITH HER AND IT WAS THE SHIT MAN, YOU KNOW?

THEN I HEAR SOMEONE SCREAMING AND I'M THINKING THEY'RE HAVING A BAD TRIP OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT GIRL ON CSI WHO GOT SOME PCP IN HER SHIT AND CHEWED SOMEONE'S STOMACH OPEN, LIKE THAT WAS BADASS SHIT MAN

ONLY THAT SCREAMING STUFF IS GETTING LOUDER LIKE THOSE SIRENS ON COP SHOWS LIKE THAT DOPPER EFFECT STUFF I LEARNED IN HIGH SCHOOL BEFORE I DROPPED OUT RIGHT

AND NEXT THING I KNOW THE CHICK I WAS BUMPING WITH GETS KNOCKED OUT BY A BIG CHUNK OF MEAT LIKE THE ONES THE PETA PEOPLE WERE THROWING AT THAT DEMONSTRATION THE OTHER DAY ONLY IT'S GOT GLOWSTICKS AND STUFF ON IT LIKE IT WAS RAVER BEEF AND THERE'S SOMETHING MAKING LOTS OF NOISE AND CRASHING AROUND AND ROARING AND THERE'S SCREAMING AND THEN I SEE IT OH JESUS FUCK SHIT IT'S SO BIG AND THAT EYE GLEAMS RED AND GREEN WITH ALL THE BLOOD AND GLOWSTICKJUICE AND THE FUR IT'S SO BLACK AND WHITE AND EVEN THE LIGHTS DON'T CHANGE THE COLOR AND HE'S COMING CLOSER AND CLOSER AND HE'S OH SHIT NO HE'S COMING FOR ME
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